Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Dazzling Imago

“Hello, Thadeus.”

Thadeus froze. He never heard her come in. He turned around, slowly.

He resisted the urge to oscitate when he saw her. When the Red Guard took her five years ago, she was but a squirt, a caterpillar becoming a chrysalis. Now, a full grown woman stood in front of him -- a dazzling butterfly.

“I was waiting for you,” he said.

“I know.”

Even after so long apart, their minds still worked in strange synchronicity. He knew why she was here. He was her graduation project. The Lacuna mission, trainees called it. A mission where they had to tear out their past like pages out of a book. Failing this final test meant death.

Her face was emotionless, but Thadeus knew better. He knew her. Or did he? There was a miasma around her he never felt before. She had changed. They both have. His image stared at him from the mirror on the opposite wall. Was he really that old?

“Do it quickly,” the calmness of his voice surprised even him.

“Of course.”

Did her voice just tremble?

He looked away. It was easier. “I love you.”

“Goodbye, father,” she whispered as the blade fell down.

24 comments:

  1. Ooh! This is a fierce one. Great job incorporating those words!

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  2. I absolutely loved the way you worked Lacuna into your entry.

    Great job!

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  3. I really love the way you worked this. Great way to use Lacuna. The ending is sad - sort of reminds me of the Mord Sith.

    Really well done.

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  4. Oh man! That really got me. Such a sad conclusion, but you pulled it off really well.

    Great job, Daina! :)

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  5. Intriguing and sad ending. Made me want to go back a page or two. ; )

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  6. Thank you all for your kind words, I'm glad you liked it!

    @K.T. Hanna
    I didn't know the background on Mord Sith, as I only watched an episode or two of the Legend of the Seeker and haven't read the books, but it's similar to what I was going for, minus the whole torture thing.

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  7. This is intriguing! I like it a lot, and I definitely want to know more!
    Mine is #3.

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  8. I want to know more! This is really good.

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  9. pretty intense story. but I am not sure I understand why she had to kill him. Poor guy.

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  10. Thanks, Jen and Jenny :D I would also like to know more :) Now I have an urge to use the girl character somewhere. Maybe I will, we'll see. Glad you liked it.

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  11. @Sonia Lal

    She was taken as a child and forced to join a kind of a military organization, and the final part of their "training" is to kill everyone who was close to them. I wasn't sure if I was clear enough about this part, guess I could have been clearer.

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  12. Ooh! Good twist. And I love the name, Lacuna Mission.

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  13. Woah! Holy cow! Blade? Great ending! And I like how you used the required words. Good job!

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  14. wow, that freaked me out. LOL. Great job. I'm a new follower from the campaign.

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  15. There are so many questions that this story opens up! Excellent piece.

    Which number is your entry? I want to vote for it. :)

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  16. What I thought was a possibly happy reunion between friends, maybe lovers turned - with a well-done twist - into something much darker. Good job, Daina!

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  17. Very intriguing and a nice twist at the end. Definitely left me wanting more. Great job.

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  18. That was well done. Nice twist at the end.

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  19. Captivating, but sad. Very well done.

    The Write Soil

    Mine is #50.

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  20. I love the project title Lacuna Mission ... and what a shocking ending ! Great job !
    My entry at no.#185

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  21. Didn't expect that turn of events at the end. Very good.

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  22. Very chilling! I was guessing he was a young love, so it was even more of a gut punch when we found out he was her father.

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  23. Wonderfully creepy with a great twist - I like it. Well done!

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  24. I love this. Reminds me of one of the Sword of Truth by Goodkind (he has some highly trained torturers that need do a similar thing at the end of their training). You did a great job of incorporating the words!

    #189

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