Friday, September 9, 2011

First Campaigner Challenge

Rachael Harrie’s first campaigner challenge of Platform-Building Campaign is to write a flash fiction story of 200 words or less that starts with a “The door swung open”. Extra challenge if you use the same beginning words and end with the words: “the door swung shut.” and if you make it 200 words exactly. Of course I had to go with the harder option.

I had something completely different in mind, but my characters had another idea. Silly me, thinking it’s the writer who decides on a story. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about it, it’s the first time I write these two as teenagers.


Not My Fault

The door swung open and a red-faced boy of about fourteen stormed into the room.

“You did it again!” he shouted at the girl his age that was sitting on the window sill, reading a book.

“Hi, Adrien,” she said, not taking her eyes off the pages.

“You just had to do it, didn’t you?”

“Do what? I did numerous things today.”

“You set Morigan on fire! Again!”

“I wouldn’t call it fire,” she turned the page. “It was more of a flicker.”

“Why do you keep doing these things, Gray? The teachers will be furious!”

“So?” she shrugged. “I’m not a student here. Besides,” she raised her head from the book, “I don’t see how it’s my fault. I told him ‘Leave the kid alone or I’ll barbecue you.’ He chose barbecue. You’d think in five years he’s been at this school he would have learned by now.”

“It’s not your fault?”

“It was his choice,” she shrugged.

He shook his head. “It’s like I’m talking to a wall.”

“I wouldn’t know. Haven’t talked to that many walls.”

Adrien sighed before turning and walking out the door.

“Bye, Adrien,” she shouted after him just as the door swung shut.

Any suggestions for a title?


EDIT: Thank you all for such great comments! Sorry I forgot to put the entry number, it's 338, thank you, Michael, for answering it for me :) For all of you that would like to read more stories with these characters, you can check out my free short story on Smashwords!

As for the title, I think I'll go with "Not my fault".

22 comments:

  1. Absolutely love it! He chose barbecue. What a priceless line. I love your quirky humor in this.

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  2. Hey Daina, I wanted to vote for yours, but I can't find your number. What number are you? And, as far as titles go, I suggest Barbecue or He Chose Barbecue.

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  3. Excellent. I feel like I already know these two.

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  4. "He chose barbeque." Ha! That's pretty funny. Good scene. I can see a larger story to go with this.

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  5. I like it, very good dialogue work here!

    Barbara, I got here from #338 in the linky list.

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  6. Love the dialogue and the characters sound so interesting. :)

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  7. I would love to hear more from this cheeky madam ! What an attitude ... "he chose barbecue" ... and she's so matter-of-fact about it ... priceless :)
    My entry at no.#59

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  8. I like the 'chose barbecue' line as well. Maybe an idea for a title.

    Stobby

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  9. I love this. More of a flicker is great! Mine is #72

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  10. Excellent back and forth!

    Would like to invite you to The Rule of Three Blogfest ---a month-long shared-world fiction extravaganza in October with some great prizes, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing.

    Bring these two kids to the town of Renaissance...they might like it there.

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  11. Also, dropping by to tell you you've been shortlisted as one of the top 5 to move on to stage two. There will be a semi-final (stage three) and a final (stage four). Congratulations!

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  12. This was great, Daina! Congrats to you in your moving on to stage two!

    Thank you for stopping by my blog today and commenting on my novel. I hope you enjoy it some evening curled up with a tea or coffee, settled in for an easy, and fun read.

    The cover issue - yes, on page one, the cover is small. But if you click 'Go-To' on your Kindle, then select 'Cover' - the cover is full-size. I'm not sure why that first page is there! I've been hesitant to take it down to 'take out' that page, as it doesn't affect reading. Thank you for mentioning it, though. It's amazing to me what can happen in 'translation'...from my document to their format!
    Please let me know when your short story(ies) is available at Smashwords. I'll check it out for sure!
    And if you hadn't guessed, my Drago Zadrovec is from Slovakia. (My husband's mother was Slovakian...and I was just adored her) I noticed you are from Croatia... I've seen lovely images of your country, especially the coastal areas.
    Talk to you soon ~ Nadja

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  13. Love the girl's attitude! And the boy's relationship with her. :) It makes me want to know more about them. ;)

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  14. Wow! That scene flew! The dialogue is perfect. Love the banter. I would so totally read more about these two characters, and how the girls can set people on fire. That's just too awesome!

    Great job, Daina! :)

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  15. Thank you all for the amazing comments! I'm so glad you liked it. And to pass into the stage two even! Thank you, Damyanti, I'm happy you liked it that much :)

    About The Rule of Three Blogfest, well, Adrien, being the voice of reason, says I won't have the time for it, but Gray says the hell with time. And since no one, of course, listens to Adrien, we're coming! As soon as they agree about the third character, that is :D

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  16. Ha! I love that she gave Morigan a choice. It really wasn't her fault he decided to keep being a jerk. Definitely another of these stories I can see being fleshed out into something more.

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  17. Yay, am so glad they're coming to the to The Rule of Three Blogfest!

    Help us spread the word via your blog and also twitter at #REN3!

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  18. @Damyanti

    Looking forward to it! I'll blog about it in a next few days.

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  19. Oh, I like her for sure! And it was definitely his own fault. :D

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