Friday, October 14, 2011

Rule of Three: Second Post

Even though I wrote the second part days ago, I'm still posting it last second. It's been a busy day yesterday. And a crappy day today, caused by something I ate yesterday. Before I miss the deadline, lets get down to business.

This is the second entry for the Rule of Three blogfest, the rules for which you can find here.
You can find my first entry here.

The prompts for this week were:
  • Someone is killed or almost killed
  • One of the characters is revealed to be not who or she is
  • A relationship becomes complicated
  • A character lies to another on an important matter
The word count is 598 words. I could have used a few hundred more for descriptions and dialogue, I guess the story ran away from me a bit. I just hope I could fit the next two parts of where I have planned to take this inside the word count and the incoming prompts. Anyway, here it is, hope you enjoy it.


Adrien moved a stray lock of damp, black hair from Gray's forehead. Seeing her like this, all broken and helpless, made his stomach clench.

"There," the healer woman fastened the bandages. "Now we can only wait."

He wanted to thank her, but as soon as she looked at him, his mind went blank. He was never shy around women, so why was he tongue-tied all of a sudden? She was a beautiful woman, but still-

Hade burst into the room.

"Come with me," she grabbed him by the hand, dragging him towards the door.

"Hade, please," he sighed, pulling his hand free. This constant animosity between the two was wearing him down. "This is serious, she could die. Could you give her a break?"

"I don't care about Gray!" she blurted, then sighed, pressing her palm over her eyes. "That came out wrong. I meant to say that it has nothing to do with her. There's something outside you need to see."

"Go..." Gray's voice was hoarse.

"I'll watch over her," the healer's smile was reassuring.

He turned back to Hadelaide. "This better be important."

"I'm rather hoping it's not," she mumbled as she dragged him towards the doors again.

The few people in the street stood still, staring and pointing somewhere to the north. That was never a good sign.

He followed their gaze. What he saw sent chills down his spine.

"What is that?"

"I have no idea, but it's twice as closer now then when I went to get you."

"Are those... birds?"

It wasn't a cloud, that much was clear. He could make out a multitude of dots forming this giant shadow.

"Everybody inside!" he screamed, turning towards the town folk. "Get inside the houses and barricade yourselves. Now!"

They hesitated, staring at him, non-comprehension written all over their faces. A woman with a small child regained her senses first. Grabbing the little girl by the hand, she ran down the street.

"Over here!" Someone at the other side of the street was holding the house doors open, beckoning them in.

"Move it, people!" Hade yelled at them, pushing the reluctant ones in the right direction.

When everyone was safely inside, Adrien pulled Hade back towards the healer's place. He wasn't about to leave Gray alone and unprotected.

They barred the doors behind them. With their noses pressed to the window, they waited.

The sound came first, unbearable shrills of thousands of voices. As they moved closer, it became obvious those weren't birds.

"Bats!" Hade gasped. "Giant bats!"

Great. Just what they needed. And Gray was incapacitated.

They watched as they descended upon the town, landing on rooftops and streets, crashing into windows in an attempt to get inside.

"Merciful Gods! Adrien, look!"

Down the street, the woman with the child was desperately trying to open the house doors. The beasts swarmed them like bees.

As soon as he stepped out, a bat swooped down at him, claws ready. In a single motion he drew his sword and sliced the beast's abdomen, not even slowing down. He took down a dozen or so monsters before reaching his target.

They were curled up on the ground, the woman shielding the child with her body. As he kneeled down to inspect them, he heard flapping of wings coming at him. He braced for impact.

Instead, the fiend shrieked in pain. Hade stood above him, her sword ready for the next monstrosity.

"She's hurt bad. We have to get her inside."

"I don't think we're going anywhere," Hade uttered.

The entire swarm was coming straight at them.

I took an easy way out of this one, I took just the "Someone is killed or almost killed" one, that one is always easy :D. Although, you could stretch "One of the characters is revealed to be not who or she is" to the healer, but that's more of a hint than a reveal. Unless an ominous cloud could be considered a character, that one turned out not to be a cloud at all :) Or a flock of birds.

I'm off to read the other entries. Enjoy!

15 comments:

  1. I'd say it worked great! Loved the dialogue and increasing tension. I was hoping the woman and child would make it, at least alive.

    Awesome second installment. See you next week. :)

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  2. @David Powers King

    Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

    I was deciding for a long time whether to let the woman die or not. She's still not out of the woods, though :D

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  3. Wow, that got big! Hade and Adrien seem more than prepared to deal with it - they're used to stuff like this?

    Look forward to the next update!

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  4. Oh, that was scary. I wouldn't like to be in Renaissance right now. One bat is nice, a cloud of giant bats not.
    But I agree, the "one gets (almost) killed" prompt is a fairly easy one - I used it, too, for my 2nd part.

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  5. Nice action! Good going. I'm curious what is actually going on with this healer chick.

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  6. Hate bats, so slicing them is a good thing. Action..we needed some action.

    Looking forward to part three!!

    Stuart
    co-host
    Tale Spinning

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  7. I suspect many of us will have the same problem - trying to tie everything together in 600 words for the last 2 posts! Looking forward to next week already.
    Small fruit-eating bats are OK with me. Giant, attacking bats - ugh!

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  8. Wow, that was chillingly awesome! I look forward to see what happens next!

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  9. I loved this part, a lot was happening on and under the surface, great action, great dialogue as well! :)

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  10. Yuck! Giant bats. Not a fun time in Renaissance tonight!

    I'm very curious about the healer. I had a weird feeling about her in the first post, and it continues in this one. Hope Gray and the woman and child survive this.

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  11. Wow, I was *not* expecting that! I was on the edge of my seat, wondering what would happen.

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  12. A giant dark mass of...bats! Now that's creepy! I like the hints and tension you weave into the story. I wonder if the healer is connected to the bats?

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  13. Now that's a scary scene! All those bats flying at them.

    Great entry. :)

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  14. I could see the scene clearly in my minds-eye. Very well written. :-)

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  15. You did fab lady! Hope all is well and checking out some of your other posts that I've missed. Have a blessed week!

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